An extroverted introvert is someone who is naturally introverted but can also display the typical extrovert qualities of being outgoing, talkative and social… depending on circumstances or mood of course.
When I read the book Quiet by Susan Cain, I experienced a huge shift in how I thought about myself. For most of my life I just assumed I was different than everyone else! A square peg that just didn’t fit. Little did I know that my preference for quiet and introspection over being social meant I was a stone cold introvert.
Are you familiar with the Myers-Brigg Type personality test? It breaks us down into 16 different personality groups split between introverts and extroverts. An IN(TP) or IS(TP) type indicator for example means you demonstrate introvert personality traits. While the MBTI isn’t considered rock solid science, it’s one method to get the “big picture” on your personality type.
What makes an introvert different than an extrovert?
Put simply, the main distinctions are:
- Are drained by too much social contact and prefer to be alone to recharge and process their thoughts and feelings.
- Some introverts may be considered shy or reserved rather than outgoing
- Introverts are more likely to focus on their inner life, thoughts and feelings
- Thrive on social contact. Being with others keeps them charged, feeling plugged in and connected.
- Extroverts love talking, parties and meeting new people
- Extroverts mainly focus on what’s happening on the outside, their external life
Who is an Extroverted Introvert?
An extroverted introvert is someone who mainly identifies as introvert, but also functions like an extrovert when the need arises or when the situation or mood supports it.
Extroverted Introvert Qualities:
- While you enjoy your own company you also appreciate opportunities to be sociable with like minded individuals or small groups
- Loud or boisterous people may cause you to shut down if you’re tired or not in the mood, so your extroversion depends on timing and the quality of the company
- You’re able to indulge in small talk and casual interactions with others but you prefer to dive deep into conversations
- You enjoy an exchange of ideas with like minded colleagues or friends but you prefer working at your own pace rather than part of a group
- Working in sales or a customer or client facing situation can be fun and challenging but you need time to unwind on your own after a full on session
The bottom line is if you’re an introvert – like me – you may find you toggle between needing lots of time on your own to enjoying good company to balance out your “me” time. The key distinction is good company.
An introvert – even an extroverted introvert or ambivert – will enjoy hanging out with a few special friends over a large social gathering any day.
Moving on or Moving Abroad as an Extroverted Introvert.
Unless you’ve been living on a desert island, you’ll be familiar with the worldwide pandemic that began in 2020.
While every extrovert has quite possibly been freaking out missing their social life, we introverts – both closet and self professed – have been quietly enjoying our new found freedom from the pressure to be social. Amiright?
I consider myself an extroverted introvert. I can be quite social when I need to be; usually followed by a big sigh of relief when I can be alone again! Moving to the UK just before the pandemic hit has reassured me my introversion has actually been a blessing in disguise and it may be true for you too.
While it can be lonely to move on in life; to a new relationship, no relationship or a new country; as an introvert with some extrovert tendencies you’re better prepared to weather the storm than most.
The Benefits of Moving on as an Extroverted Introvert
- You’re more likely to be prepared to do the research and inner work to make informed choices
- When you meet new people you click with, you’re able to create deeper connections through meaningful conversations
- Your innate ability to be empathetic and a good listener makes you an asset to a group or organization
- You’re happy to connect with new people casually – through Meetups or gatherings – that allow you to dip in and out of being social
- You’ll have plenty of beneficial recharging time while you navigate through your new environment at your own pace.
- You can pick and choose how social you want to be because the pressure to maintain past relationships is off
- You can be yourself. No more wearing a mask or pretending to be more into something or someone than you really are.
- With your natural empathetic qualities you’ll tune yourself into social situations with ease and meet new folks who appreciate what a good listener you are
- You know how to do you. You’re not going to freak out at being alone for awhile. In fact you may just enjoy your new found freedom to do what you want when you want!
Moving Abroad as an Extroverted Introvert
I didn’t move to England because I thought it would be a great place to live as an introvert. But I’ve since realized I feel supported here in a way that I haven’t before because I no longer feel the pressure to be “on” socially all the time. In fact being quiet and reserved is appreciated here. You could say it’s almost the status quo.
Surprisingly as an “American” living in England I’m considered the extrovert! Probably because I’m more likely to say what I think or start a conversation about something that’s meaningful to me.
Your extroverted introvert personality is really the best of both worlds. You’ll find you can fit in where others might struggle. If you’re thinking of moving on or moving abroad as an extroverted introvert – just do it.
Ready to make a move? See if these guides and advice can help!