Throw out your list. Meet the guy you really need in your fifties.

meet the guy

Italian charm and a Harley!

It’s time to meet the guy you really need in your fifties.

Do you have a list in your head of what you think you want in a guy? The kind of list that you’ve been carrying around since your twenties. Or maybe even your teens?

Funny thing is we aren’t twenty anymore and our needs have changed. Big time. Do you really still want a guy who could be head running back? Is what he drives still important – really?

Yeah I get it. Success comes in different forms. You might say you want a guy who makes a good living and drives a new model car to prove it. Same thing. You’re still focusing on what the high school jock seemed to have that you thought you wanted.

Here’s what your “perfect guy” list might look like. You know, the one in your head.

  • He’s got to have a successful career, preferably professional
  • Has to have a full head of hair
  • Country club membership is a given
  • Always picks up the tab
  • His wardrobe is full of suits and ties
  • A Harley or two sits inside his garage
  • He reminds you of the jock you fell in love with in HS
  • Country music is always playing in his truck
  • His Italian charm makes you lose your cool

You get the idea. It’s not important what’s on the list, but what you feel deep down that needs a little shift.

When we have a list in our head of what floats our boat, we tend to overlook anything or anybody that doesn’t match up to it. If you’re going to meet a guy to love and live with for the rest of your life, your list may need some tweaking honey.

If you’re single, about to be, or maybe never married, listen up. When you first find YOU, then you have a much better chance at finding love.

What do I mean about finding you. I mean learn to love the girl/woman you are now and take steps to become the best version of her. Before you make any move to find a man, you have to find what floats you.

How to meet the guy you need (not want) in your fifties

  • Take responsibility for your happiness. It’s your jam, no one else’s. Realize your happy place depends on your attitude alone.
  • Be willing to let go of what isn’t working. Whether it’s too tight jeans or looking for Mr. Wrong, allow in new thoughts. Such as “my ass doesn’t need to look like I’m thirty for it to still be fine.”
  • Sit down and make a list of what you’re doing when you’re happy. Does it involve a country club or a Harley? If not make a new list of what you really love, not what you think you want.
  • Sure Blake Shelton is pretty hot. But Gwen Stefani is a rocker and they still got together. I’m pretty sure she was more of a fan of his other qualities than the fact he was a country singer. Look beyond appearances.
  • Still a sucker for a smoother talker? Some guys have it down. Look beyond the words and focus on his actions. Do they match up? If not, you don’t need what he’s selling.
  • Assess where you are and where you see yourself for the rest of your life. Visualize your home, your life, the town you’re in and how you’ll spend your days. What type of qualities will your man need to fit in to that life?
  • Be the girl/woman you would love to hang out with. It goes back to loving yourself in all your imperfection. No man is looking for perfection and if he is, he’s not for you. But if you truly love yourself, you have a built in radar for guys who will also love what you’ve got.
  • Radiate confidence and love, show up with a smile and be ready to flirt. He may be anywhere. Don’t get too attached to an outcome. Have fun and let go of expectations.

how to meet the guy

Trust me, if it’s meant to happen it will happen. Let him know you’re interested but draw the line at chasing. That’s one skill most guys seem to have. When they see something they want or need, they’ll go after it.

I know it’s easy to get caught up in the “but I’m tired of being alone and he’s not that bad” syndrome. Don’t go there.

Make a new list of what you really need in a man now. Qualities like humility, generosity and trust for example. Even the good ones may hide their true selves at the start, but his actions will tell you everything you need to know. Pay attention.

He may be a cool dude but just not have the right stuff you need. I don’t mean a Harley or anything else superficial. I mean straight up qualities that will meet your needs now. Is he going to be patient with your new grand baby? Does he have the financial resources to not be a drain on yours.

That’s it sweetie. You’ve changed. Pick a man for the woman you are now, not the girl you used to be.

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Tessa

I created Hip Over Fifty for all the women who want to stay hip and relevant in their fifties and beyond. Staying connected and encouraging each other is what inspires me. I hope to hear your thoughts and dreams too!

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