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How To Love Yourself And Change Your Life

What if learning how to love yourself was the only catalyst you needed to change your life forever?

What if you could dream bigger if you loved yourself more. Big goals like traveling more or making a move abroad for example.

Once we make the shift to feeling we deserve it, achieving our dreams doesn’t seem so far out of reach.

Do you feel worthy of having your big needs met?

What’s stopping you from moving forward with your plans for a more fulfilling life?

Learn to love yourself, then be happy.

I believe loving ourselves gives us permission to be happy and pursue our dreams. Which may sound weird. Who needs permission? But you’d be surprised at some of the blocks we put up when it comes to making positive life changes.

Blocks like “Who am I to want this?” or “Who do I think I am?”

Can you see that feeling worthy is the key to changing your life?

how to love yourself

It’s a bit of a conundrum. To be happier and live a charmed life, self love comes first. But to love yourself first you need to feel you deserve love and are worthy of being happy.

Isn’t everything we do from a desire to be happy?

It’s why we chase love, desire wads of cash or wander the globe.

We hope we’ll find happiness once we reach our destination…. whatever it may be. 

This idea that in order to be happy we’ll find the solution outside in people and things, is what we’re taught. So we keep looking and hoping to hit on that magic combination.

But that’s not exactly how it works.

While it’s true that finding love creates feelings of happiness, it isn’t the other person who’s responsible. It’s our response to our loved one that triggers that burst of happiness. Our joyous thoughts and feelings are responsible for our giddiness. It’s the meaning we give it that creates the spark in us.

We choose how we feel about people and things – fast car or posh beach house anyone? But actually it’s our thoughts that make us happy.

In reality we have the power to be happy any time we choose because it comes from within us not from people and things.

How does self love or loving yourself work?

We’re so conditioned to thinking love comes to us, that we think we need to get love.

Of course it’s normal to want love and have lovely things.

But where we get it wrong is trying to get love. Because that never works.

Especially if we try to please someone to get them to like us. Or believe we need to act a certain way to be lovable by turning ourselves inside out.

But trying to get love can destroy and push away the very love we crave. 

It’s only when we accept we’re already worthy of being loved that we stop trying to get it. 

“Love me or leave me, I’m good!”

When we don’t try to make ourselves lovable it actually makes us more appealing.  I told you it was tricky. 

The answer is; love yourself and everything falls magically into place.  Think of the kindest and most generous friend you have. Then be that person to yourself! Accept yourself with all your flaws, imperfections and beauty and you’ll attract the love that’s meant for you.

Loving yourself and letting go of getting love equals happiness. Make sense?

When we love ourselves, we’re ready to pursue our most heart felt goals. We’re worth it!

Letting go is the answer

Learning to let go of a desired outcome is another way of saying don’t try to get love, fame or a lottery win.

Let’s get rid of the need we have to be happy a certain way;  this person should love us or only that job will do.

Because we don’t know that for sure.

Pursue the simple goal of just focusing on loving thoughts and feelings and let go of what happens next.

Graciously accept we don’t have control over anything but our own thoughts and actions. 

Letting go of needing something outside you to make you happy will change your life.

How to love yourself 

  1. Let go of toxic people and situations
  2. Change the voice in your head to that of a kind friend
  3. Eat healthy food often
  4. Treat your body with loving care
  5. Say “I love you” daily to the mirror
  6. Forgive your mistakes
  7. Create daily habits that support you
  8. Make sure you get enough rest
  9. Nip negative thought spirals in the bud
  10. Let go of judgement or “shoulds”
  11. Remember you are not your past
  12. Feel worthy of good things
  13. Act on positive inspiration
  14. Celebrate the small wins you make
  15. Be OK with imperfection
  16. Do one nice thing for yourself every day
  17. Put your needs first most of the time

Making a biggish life change like a move requires determination and courage. Don’t be afraid to put yourself center stage and ask for what you need along the way.

Be willing to practice loving yourself every day. I constantly need to remind myself that, yes, I am a priority!

All our outer experiences are a reflection of our inner one. What we think, feel and say comes back to us. Make those thoughts and words count. 

Love yourself, feel worthy and go out and do what makes you happy-er. You deserve the best.

2 Comments

  • Mary R.
    December 17, 2021 at 10:56 PM

    Wonderful tips for learning to love yourself, warts and all! Thank you for articulating it so well, Tessa!

    Reply
    • Tessa
      December 18, 2021 at 9:52 AM

      Thank you Mary – I always love hearing my words resonate!

      Reply

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