Listening to an awesome audiobook, “Igniting Intuition” by Christiane Northrup and Mona Lisa Schulz got me thinking about when it’s time to start a new tribe or family. Their conversation was centered on connecting our emotional dramas to what’s going on in our bodies. One leads to the other, our bodies are a conduit for feelings, long held and deeply felt. When our body tells us something isn’t working it’s time to listen.
Sometimes the family or community we grow up with doesn’t support us emotionally. Staying in a situation we can’t change leads to frustration and eventually unhappiness. At middle age we can take advantage of all the options to create a new tribe or family.
What better time to reinvent ourselves? Although leaving behind familiar connections can sometimes feel like loss, it doesn’t have to. If you’re feeling connected to your family and friends then enjoy what you have. But if you’re yearning for deeper or less stressed relationships then it may be time to reach out beyond your current circle. We know we need to change but we resist it don’t we? It’s almost as if we get comfortable even in our discomfort. As we get older it does feel harder to adopt new habits, new people and new places.
I’m a believer life is a golden opportunity to get it while we can. Unless you’re fully engaged and happy in your current life, why not consider how much more wonderful your life could be? You could embrace the idea of change and what it can mean to your future life.
If you’re not being fully supported by your current family; you’ve lost family members or are estranged, think about reaching out to a new tribe. You won’t have a shared history but maybe that’s a good thing! There’s nothing sacred about someone having the same last name as you.
Alternatively you can reach out to family in distant places. I’ve always tried to stay connected to my family overseas, and as I’ve gotten older I appreciate our connection even more. Think also of those folks in your life who you seem to be able to pick up the thread even when you haven’t seen each other in years. Reach out to them more often.
If you’d like to start your own tribe or get connected to a new one:
- Join Meetup.com and look for folks who have similar interests, from being Boomers to a love of square dancing. There’s thousands of groups to explore, and everyone else is looking for connection too.
- Spiritual or religious? Try to reconnect with a church or group that shares your values and ideals.
- Find a travel group and go to new places with strangers. You’ll all be in discovery mode.
- If you’re single, reconnect with old friends, meet new ones for coffee, golf or whatever floats your boat. Sign up for a dating site like Meet Mindful to explore a new romantic connection.
- Volunteer. Find a cause you’re passionate about and do something. Get involved and be part of a greater need than yours.
Don’t be afraid of change as it can lead to exciting new opportunities to make connections. Keep your thoughts positive and go find your new tribe!