What’s the Secret to Finding Love?
Why does looking for love turn even a secure person’s insides into a wobbly bowl of Jello? Deep down we know love is at the top of our must haves. Right next to shelter and food!
If we’re honest, who really wants to live without it? We’re meant to love and be loved.
The kicker is we’ve learned love causes both pleasure and pain.
By the time our 50s roll around, we’ve experienced all the highs and lows love can bring and we’re not sure if we want to get back on the roller coaster. But hop on we must, because life lived without the chance to love and be loved isn’t worth getting up in the morning for. Cue the corny love songs and ballads!
If you’re fifty plus, you’re forgiven if you take a slightly cynical view of love and romance. Chances are you’ve played the game of love and lost at least a few times. You’ve also discovered living alone isn’t awful and in fact can be just peachy thank you.
But, at some point your need for companionship and cuddles outweighs any mistrust in men. You miss the thrill of seeing texts pop up or knowing you’ve still got it by the look in his eyes.
I’ve written about how I gave up on internet dating and met my guy IRL a mere few weeks later. Is there something magical about not giving a damn if you meet someone? Does giving up produce a unique pheromone highly attractive to the opposite sex?
I think it does. Magic can happen when you aren’t looking.
“The secret to finding love when you’re ready to give up; is to give up looking. Let love find you. ”
Finding Love by Letting it Find You
- Spend time with yourself and learn to enjoy your own company. Roll your eyes, but if you don’t genuinely enjoy your own company, chances are no one else will either! Think of it as the law of attraction. Like attracts like.
- Make an effort with your style and look if you’ve let it slide. Plastic surgery isn’t necessary, but careful attention to things like eyebrows and skin can do wonders. It not only boosts your self esteem but it attracts. Men can’t help it, they’re very visual.
- Speaking of style. Is it time for a new look? Do you find yourself dressing purely for comfort or need? Perhaps you’ve got a sharp eyed friend who can help assess your wardrobe and hairstyle. Once again, men are extremely visual. Online profiles with nice photos get noticed.
- Online dating can be exhausting and I suggest getting off when your hearts not in it. If you want love to find you online, be prepared with an eloquent profile and recent photo. Be yourself and be honest, because it’s exhausting to pretend to be anyone else.
- Dating through apps is an opportunity to meet someone who may not otherwise cross your path. But it’s also full of people who haven’t quite gotten over their last love or fling. Be careful. Also don’t be that someone. Love can’t find you if your heart isn’t free.
- Do things you really enjoy with complete joie de vivre. Whether it’s riding, knitting, paragliding or dancing; throw yourself into it with lust and abandon. Nothing is more attractive than someone who’s lit up by what they love doing.
- Let go of past loves or expectations. Easier said than done but this one matters. The energy we expend on a fixation with a past love pushes new love energy away.
- Be ready. I don’t mean sit by the phone (wow that never happens anymore but you know what I mean), but be ready to catch that look from across the room. Be ready to respond with a smile when someone interesting tries to start a conversation. Be receptive.
- Value yourself enough to wait for what feels right, but don’t get hung up on perfect. Listen to what he says, but pay attention to what he does. He may see love before you do.
How to find love when you’re ready to give up? Be ready to let love find you.