Over 50 life

Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Settle in Love

Updated October 30, 2023

Are you settling for less than what you really need in a romantic partner?

I understand.

Perhaps it’s the week before Valentine’s and you’re SO ready for some red roses. Or you’ve been too long without a partner and you’re lonely. Why is it that little bit harder to find someone when you’re over 50?

Let me ask you this question. What if you took the chance to get what you really want in a relationship?

What if you decided that yes, your age doesn’t really change what you want and oh yeah you still deserve the best.


You’re smart enough to know exactly what I mean by “settle”.

Saying to yourself, “this is good enough” or “I’m not going to find better at my age”. Settling is not getting your needs met. It’s pretending your partner is a good fit for you when in your heart you know they’re not.

I get it. Life has the potential to be a lot more fun and enjoyable when we have someone to share it with. Living life on your own can feel a little empty when you’re longing to be held, cuddled and cherished.

But settling for getting a little when you deserve a lot isn’t the way to live the rest of your life! If you’re 50 and single again, here’s where to start.

Reasons you might want a partner in your life after fifty:

  • You’re the affectionate type and thrive on cuddles and kisses
  • You’ve always wanted a dance partner who steps to the same beat
  • You love to share your day with an attentive listener
  • You crave masculine attention and feel something’s missing without it

What’s the difference between a want and need? Needs are real, wants are desires and can be shaped by our emotions, the kind of year we’re having and the temperature outside.

Heck even a margarita or two can flip the switch on what we want in that moment. Our wants drive us, but our needs are what really run the show.

How does it feel when you need someone? It’s pretty powerful isn’t it? It feels like if you don’t get it, mama’s not gonna be happy.

Reasons you feel you need a partner:

  • You need help share living and traveling expenses
  • Your physical needs keep knocking on your bedroom door
  • You don’t really feel complete walking into a party alone
  • You feel deep down you need a money manager

When we think we need what someone else can give us, we allow ourselves to be vulnerable. We give some of our power away.

The first step to how to find love over 50 is to be crystal clear on what your needs really are.

Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Settle. How to Fill Your Needs

  • If you’re looking for a man to help pay for a better lifestyle, then look deep inside. How can you provide that for yourself?
  • If sex is at the top of the list, I get it, that one’s a little harder to scratch on your own. But it can be done.
  • If you hate to walk into a room alone, then maybe time to focus on building your self confidence.

Being willing and able to take care of your own wants and needs is the key. Too often we rush into relationships because we’re just blindly hoping the other person will be able to do that for us. Nope. It doesn’t work that way.

First get really good at understanding what your wants and needs are and how to take care of most of them. Then you’ll attract a guy who appreciates you for the awesome goddess you are. Chances are he’ll also be the kind of guy who can take care of those needs you’d expect a partner to meet. Like being there to listen and cuddle at the end of the day.

Commit to yourself and you’ll find someone who respects that. Anything less isn’t worth giving up the rest of your life for.

Now’s the time to think about what you want and need, not to take care of someone else. Let me repeat. Now is your time.

Making sure YOUR needs are taken care of is your only responsibility.

You’re not responsible for anyone else’s happiness but your own. Not your children’s, spouse, partner or grandchildren’s happiness. I know that’s a tough one!

The clock is ticking darling.

Take a lover, have a fling, travel with your mate but are you sure you’d be better off married or settled down with a man at this stage of your life? You may find you’re doing just fine on your own.

This is the time to really sink into the idea of creating your own happiness. Relationships are a joy and add depth, love and mystery to our lives. By all means cultivate the good ones and treasure them. Just know that you are complete as you are and if romantic love has eluded you at this stage in your life, I want you to know it doesn’t mean you’re not loved.

I know you. You’re a lover, a fighter, a silver tressed Wonder Woman. You don’t have to go it alone, but be careful. Don’t sign up for being someone else’s savior.

Don’t settle for anyone less than you deserve love.

This daily journal with prompts can help you keep track of your dreams & desires.

About Author

With over 30 years in a creative role in advertising and publishing, and a lifetime of journeys between the US and UK, I've created Hipoverfifty for you. I hope my journey and perspective will guide you on yours.